Jessica, was not the only person, I would be sending gifts and presents to, and while in Sweden too. There was someone else. Her name, was Kaisa Saastamoinen, and in many ways too, a true Swede in all too really {and despite, her having a Finnish last name too that is}.
But before I get fully into that, let me introduce this entry much more properly, and by speaking in all again, of what it does truly entail: Mutual Attraction and Mutual Repulsion. To speak more of all this is to say that, many never do truly think about their lives, and from more or less, a Plain and Ordinary perspective too. This in many ways truly, does speak truly in all again, of just what does constitute life in itself, and when one can be said to be Bored too that is. That many a person, when attempting to deal with the Plain and Ordinary (and as with regards mainly, to Boredom in itself too perhaps), will probably have a friend tell them, "You should go out more", or even party some more, or even truly again, probably just simply try to have fun (or 'sex' too), and in as many ways as possible too that is. This in many ways, is the levels that Society just about everywhere, has fallen to, and as with saying truly that, once a person does enter a state of Boredom (and as with losing general enthusiasm even) and in all too even, getting out of it, can be more impossible, than one does believe it to be actually {that in all again, one will never have enthusiasm, and for just about anything too, and as with speak to even, of the rest of their lives too that is}.
It was this general fear, of getting into a state of Boredom {and as with my knowing or acknowledging even that, there was a fearful factor in knowing that, partying or attempting to seek out sex in itself, could furtherly even, enhance this problem} {that in all, if sex or partying, did not solve this Boredom problem (or what psychologists call Ennui), then I would be left in a state, where I truly wondered, what to do with the rest of my time/life, and as with my acknowledging even perhaps, that life in itself, had nothing much to offer one, and as with speak too even, of my being an endless dreamer that is (and as with my holding Romance too and as a theological concept, rather close to my Heart that is)}. It was this general fear again, of getting into a state of Ennui, that led me, to do as I did, when it did come, to Jessica {send someone many would consider a stranger in all (and to me too that is), a Box, waist high, and filled with gifts and presents too}, but unknown to most, what it did actually do, was help me escape, the very fear of believing myself, to be in a perpetual state of imprisonment in all {and not as with regards, to my not having money that is, but with regards in all again, to the general fear, of getting into a permanent state of Boredom/Ennui that is} {that once in this state, one could very well consider it, a life-time imprisonment of a kind actually}.
Luckily in my life, I have had the chance of meeting many a person, that I could very well say, allowed for us in all, to acknowledge each other {that in many ways, we did know each other somewhat intimately, and as with Intimacy too, a key thing in all, in helping fight Boredom/Ennui that is}. With Kaisa though, this moment of Intimacy occurs (and as with our acknowledging each other), when I first in many ways, did arrive in Sweden (though in my second year of stay actually), and with my being still very much, reclusive in my ways actually {and as with my not truly knowing that, if my general expectations of life in Sweden were not met (or did not come true), I would be facing a major crisis in my life, and as with my knowing too that, Sweden, was one of the much more better Countries out there, one could ever live in}. Kaisa though, and as I am now walking back into my apartment in Uppsala, a long corridor too leading me there in many ways, comes up to me somewhat excitedly, and starts speaking furiously {and as if I was in all, a long lost friend that is}. I though, I am somewhat, in a state of shock and surprise, and as I freeze, Kaisa continues talking some more, before she notices the blank expression on my face, about my not, truly acknowledging her that is {and as with my saying that, her expectations in many ways, and about whom I was perhaps, were dashed in many a way actually}.
However though, I did get to buy her, many a small gift/present (including some flowers), which I did leave, outside her door, and as with my feeling the juices in my body too, stir up in many a way, and before my entering in all, a state of apprehension actually, and of what could possibly, follow too that is {and as with my saying that, for the next few days, Boredom/Ennui, were completely out of my mind that is}. Kaisa, acknowledged the sending in all, of the gifts/presents, and as in saying that, when we did next meet, none of our expectations about each other, were to be dashed perhaps, and in all again, my noticing that, we did become somewhat Intimate even, and with each other too (and as with she even, acknowledging my actions, and as a gesture of kindness of a kind perhaps), and as with my furtherly stating that, most do seek out, Sex, and in itself and in order, to experience full Intimacy, when the same in all again, can be achieved in some ways, and by sending someone, a gift, and at the very right time too actually.
Then there was Ingrid too, Ingrid Nasslund, and the only woman perhaps, and in this lifetime too, I have probably been able, to make/have laugh, and in an open and genuine manner too, and such that, it did in all, catch my attention actually {and as with she perhaps even, keenly intelligent too, and not only noticing this, but in many ways even, me and her in all, creating an Intimate bond of a kind actually} {to this very day, many years after (and as with my having met Ingrid in my very first year of stay in Sweden), I still do remember her in many a way, and as with speak too that is, of moments of passing bliss, but speaking truly, of an intimate bond of a kind, created at that very moment, she did choose to laugh rather openly in all, and at a joke too, made at her expense actually}.
In many ways, the above does speak of, what they do term Mutual Attraction/Repulsion {and as with it even, a kind of Energy matrix in all, that does make living everyday life, one of enthusiasm, love perhaps, general/great interest, or even, simply humour filled and by the moment too that is}.
It is this very issue, of Mutual Attraction/Repulsion {and as with Mutual Repulsion too, and as with speak too even, of Eddie Murphy as an actor perhaps, capable of being rather joyous/enlightening}, that is truly in all again, missing in many a persons life today actually {that when one does speak, of a Hollywood Star, and such as Eddie Murphy too for instance, we are in many ways referring, to the moments of Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, that they do bring to our lives actually (and as with just about every moment/minute too that is)} {and as with saying truly that, most would immediately even, look up, and on hearing perhaps, that Eddie Murphy, just did walk in, and into a vicinity too, one was in at the moment, and as with speak too even, of his now natural ability even, and in creating humour filled at the very least, Mutual Repulsion that is} {and as a reminder again, something in all too, Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, totally missing in our lives today, and such that, the danger of entering into a state of Boredom/Ennui is made rather large even, and as stated before too, and in all again is to remind one that, upon entering such a state, one in many ways, is done with life in all actually (and as with what many a man out there might know or recognize even, and when they do hear, that a Woman, can make one or break one too that is)}.
In many ways too, speaking of Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, is the very key even, to understanding just how many a nascent Civilization of the past in all, did fully attempt to exist/rise, and as with saying truly that, Ancient Nubia (or Nubian Civilization in itself for instance), can best be studied, and politically too, from this very perspective, and as with stating furtherly that, attempting to study Nubia and from an Egyptian perspective too {and as with Egypt truly grand in its ways, and due its understanding in all, of psychological concepts and such as Mutual Attraction/Repulsion}, can in all again lead one, to develop a rather false picture even, of just whom in all again, the Nubians truly were {that they were not a Civilization in all, attempting to mimic or copy Egypt actually, but one again, whose understanding of psychological concepts (and as seen everywhere in the World too that is), and such as Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, did greatly even, differ from that seen, in Egypt too that is} {that in all, the very world perhaps, of three or more people seated/standing in a Bar somewhere, and drinking too in all, and then having someone walk in, and make this group of three in all again, rather tense in their ways actually, was actually how in all again, daily life in Ancient Nubia perhaps, did actually play itself out (and as with furtherly saying that, the Egyptians in all, chose not to behave in this manner too that is)}.
Brazil too, is another place of somewhat great interest, and when it does come, to Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, and as with it owing all this in many ways even, to the Artform of Capoeira in itself actually. While in Canada, and in Sweden too actually, I did begin to take an active interest in Caopeira, and as in saying that, I do believe I had some natural instincts to me, that did in all state that, the destructive to me, Behaviour in all again, that many did engage in {and as with speak of deviant sexuality even}, would eventually lead me to enter a permanent state of Ennui/Boredom, and one too, one could not escape from that is {and as with my associating this state, with a grand even, absence in all, of Romance in itself that is}. To me in all again, Self-destructive Behaviour and as with some acknowledging the existence in all, of such Behaviour, speaks in all again, of entering into a permanent state of Boredom/Ennui {and in many ways too even, bringing destruction in itself, to what Freud, did call, the 'Id' actually}. Capoeira though, was exciting stuff to me, and I chose to read just about anything I could find on it, and as with my not truly knowing (or acknowledging too that), lots written about Capoeira, had in many ways even, to do with issues of Mutual Attraction/Repulsion in themselves {that in many ways too even, to speak of Slavery in Brazil perhaps, was to speak in all again, of just how Capoeira in all, did attempt, to transform the very environment/World and in which Slavery did exist too, and by attempting to view it all, and from the perspective of Mutual Attraction/Repulsion that is {that those trained in Capoeira in all, knew in all again just how, to deal with any form of oppressive behaviour and via mastering in all again, Mutual Attraction/Repulsion too that is} {and as with adding furthely that, lots written about Slavery and Capoeira, is actually mythic in its ways, and in many ways too, does speak of worst case scenarios, and as with speaking of Slavery in South America in all again, as apparently happening, in a Case-based scenario/'setting' that is}. In many ways too, Brazil, to this very day, and via Capoeira too, could very well transform itself, into a paradise of a kind actually, and as with it even, adopting Capoeiras rather interesting Mutual Attraction/Repulsion energies perhaps, and as with saying truly that, they do appear rather advanced in their ways actually and such that, they are able to encompass the whole of South America, and as with regards to all this that is (that Brazilians in all, and as with Brazils reknowed Soccer Team even, learning how to deal with people on an average, and from a Mutual Attraction/Repulsion basis, and as seen too, in Capoeira actually)}.
The Middle East, is one of the most unknown Regions of the World and to many a person too that is. But what most don't truly know about the Middle East (perceiving it all, as Desert, and rich Oil Sheikhs too that is), is that, its a place in all again, where one could truly say that, Mutual Attraction/Repulsion in many ways, does actually reach its very heights {and as with speak too even, of the rest of the World that is}. That in many ways, Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, is capable of reaching such great heights in the Middle East, and in many ways too, making everyday life even, a bliss of a kind {and as with furtherly saying that, Fundamentalist Islam in all, does view both Prophet Muhammed and Al-Bukari, from this very perspective even, and of Mutual Attraction/Repulsion too that is, and as with associating both respectively in all too even, with the Desert Oasis (and one filled with rather cool and sweet waters too), but in all again, with the very image too, of a Desert Rose that is} {in many ways though, one could truly attempt to summarize Islam in all, and as a mystery too, and from this very perspective too actually}.
While in Canada and Sweden though, I did not notice at times that many a girl perhaps, would at times, come somewhat running up to me, and as if with great interest even or enthusiasm too, and of just whom in all again, I truly was actually {and as with my saying that, it was not Sexual either and in a traditional manner too that is}. Take Amanda for instance, and from Winnipeg in Canada too, she in all attempting even, to make many another person aware in all of, her 'belief' that I was kind of unique and different, and even rather cool in my ways too actually. When one does hear the words/terms/names Egypt, America, Greece, France, England, India or China and Italy too, they fully fail at times, to truly grasp what they do actually mean. That in many ways, they do actually speak of the plain and ordinary (and as with these places too, having risen to great heights in daily life that is), and as with this even, referring to everyday Mutual Attraction/Repulsion too that is. That in many ways, when most do think of the Plain and Ordinary, and Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, they in all, do think of the Civil {and as with this even, just how the Plain and Ordinary, and Mutual Attraction/Repulsion in most ways too, was actually defined and in a place too, like Ancient Nubia for instance} {and with this practise too, become rather prevalent in all again, and in our Modern times too that is}. In the old World though (and as with this even including Brazil and the very world of Capoeira too even), Plain and Ordinary, and also Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, did very much take, the form of Humour & Expressivity {and as with the 'Civil' in Japan too, speaking of the Samurai, and the Geisha too actually}. That in all, these forms existence, were much higher in scope and nature {and as with talk even of the Plain and Ordinary that is, and also Mutual Attraction/Repulsion too}, than those defined, by the Civil in all actually {and as with speak too even, of Civil Liberties that is} {and as with saying truly that, this is a better way, of gauging just how the old World was advanced, and as with this referring in all again, to the very realms of Human Potential, and that defining the Plain and Ordinary, and also Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, and via Humour & Expressivity too, did give birth, to far more advanced Societies in all, than those too, defined in all again, and by the Civil in all too really and as with regards, to Mutual Attraction/Repulsion and on average too that is}.
While still in Canada though, and probably battling the beliefs of an Amanda or two, that I was in many ways, simply merely a great guy that is, and something at the time too, I did not acknowledge in any way or form that is, I had in many ways too, not consolidated my Identity as a Kenian actually, having seen myself in all, as merely having had an experience, and as having grown up in Kenya too that is {and as with my having even, lived mainly a reclusive life in all again, and while growing up too that is}. It was only in many a way, and upon my being deported from Sweden {and as with my belief that, I was just merely unlucky, to have been born in Kenya}, that I did start thinking of whom I was, and as with regards to my Identity, and back in Kenya too that is. In many ways, my acknowledging directly even, my Arab identity perhaps {as with it even, consisting of many a practise and certain forms of Scholarship I did adhere too (and as with my fully understanding them that is)}, I began to realize in all again, migratory trends, that had led many a European even, and from Europe in itself, and into Kenia too actually {and as with my not understanding myself as Kenian even, what in many ways had me disillusioned in many ways too, about life, and as with my stating again that, Kenya in all, was founded by Brown/White Immigres and Emmigres in all, and as coming in from Europe, Italy and America even} {in many ways too, my problem with creating a Kenian Identity had to do, with it very much to this day, Kenya that is, lacking a Constitution even, and as with this even, rather important, for the creating of an Identity in all that is} {and with the difficulty in all this again, of coming up with a Constitution for Kenya, due in all ways even, to the very fact that, Constitutions do speak of Individuals in all, enjoying various Civil Liberties and Freedoms that is, and what one does find is that, in Kenya in all, the Individual, is highly defined in all again, by Communicational abilities, and finally even, Oracular Knowledge Systems actually (and as with both of these, capable of being, rather individual in their ways too actually)}.
However though, my reason for writing the above on Kenia, has to do with alerting many a person out there that, the terms Kenia and Kenya in all, do have specific meanings to them all actually {and as with alerting many a person too, that what does fall under Kenya, has always been truly defined, by White populations to be seen in Kenya, and alongside Cushitic groups too actually}. Kenya in many ways, does refer even, to a way of viewing not only the Plain and Ordinary, but also Mutual Attraction/Repulsion, and as highly based around, Intelligence in itself actually {that in all again, survival in the early years of Kenya (Pre-Colonial even), were highly based around accumulated Intelligence in all, and as consisting of Swahili, European, American, Victorian, Cushitic and even British forms of Intelligence in themselves actually (and all this too, speaking of the Plain and Ordinary, and even Mutual Attraction/Repulsion that is)}. Kenia though, is a different term. It in all again does speak of (and as with attempting to make many a person out there aware of this), of names/terms in all again, and as seen even, in the old World too {they being Egypt, Greece, France, India, China, Italy etc.,}. That what did define, these reknowed names/terms in all again, was actually, the kind of Humour & Expressivity, associated in all again, with them too actually. That in all, and unknown to most too, there is what one could call, a unique even, form of Humour & Expressivity, to be seen in Kenia too, that in many ways even, can open up Civilization (and life on this very Earth too), to newer forms of existences, and as previously unknown to man too that is. That in all again, this new form of Humour & Expressivity, can be seen in works such as 'Marlfox' and by Brian Jacques too, and in many ways too, is to open up an invitation to those out there, who still do love the very concept of Civilization in all {and living life as never known before too that is}, to attempt in their own right, to investigate this factor/phenomenon in all again {that of a unique Humour and form of Expressivity too even, and one capable in all again, of generating rather new ideas actually, and on just how to live in Kenya/Kenia even, and the rest of the World too that is} {and as with reminding many too, Kenya and as with Intelligence, is best associated in all again, with the very works of Ernest Hemingway actually} {and with Kenia too on the otherhand, and as it is at the present, housing Intelligence in all, and as with speak of Brown Europeans/Italians too, mainly Italian/Arthurian in its ways too actually}.
We in many ways too, do live in a world, and one accurately even, perceived as being highly prejudicial and racist in its ways too actually {and as with this even, speaking primarily of the Social, and not the Political either}. In many ways too, while racism and discrimination in all, are often presented as being highly political even, one does find though, they mainly make their ways manifest, in the Social realms actually {and as with speak too even, of Mutual Attraction/Repulsion that is}. That in all, viewing racism and discrimination from the perspective of Mutual Attraction/Repulsion and as versus the Political too that is, does allow for one to notice that, Skin colour discrimination in all, is of a lesser degree in all again, than Gender based discrimination is, or even Age/Country/Nationality discrimination too that is {and that in many ways too, Gender based discrimination, is the most virulent of all these, and as with Women too, capable or incapable/useless, openly favoured by society too that is}.
Finally in all again is to speak of what does constitute the Civil, and in the Modern World too {that Ancient Nubia in all, did actually have a better definition of the Civil, and as with it even, based around Religion/Amun that is}. That in all again, the Civil in the Modern/Western World, is highly defined via Women (appeasing them), Secularism (and as with getting served rather quickly, and in a food eatery too for instance), and even Popular life (and as with seeking out 'sex', and at just about any opportunity too that is). That in all, the above three, do make for not only the defining of the Civil in the Modern/Western World {and speak too even of the UN standards/qualities of life too that is}, but that this too, has come to define, not only the Plain and Ordinary in the World today, but also, all forms and kinds even, of Mutual Attraction/Repulsion that is {and as with the old World even, not caring to appease Women at all, and having risen to great heights even (and at the very least too even, from the perspective of Scholarship/Literature and everyday life even), by basing the Plain and Ordinary, Mutual Attraction/Repulsion too, and on several things: and as with England for instance, with being great Speakers, and with France on the otherhand, with being great Coversationalists, and with America too, with being great Conversants, and finally too Kenia in itself perhaps, speaking of becoming in all again, great Communicators actually (and with the likes of Italy, Egypt and Greece too, basing all this, and on Mythology in itself too actually)}.
'the Moor'
