Tragedy at Le Republique.
My Dearest Lady Katko,
Greetings to you on this sad day. Yes, we do have sad days here at Le Republique but today its different since it involves 2 members of the residence. Count Villiefort also commonly known as Villi and Monsignor El Pussicato. It all started on this tuesday when we all decided to go to the city center and see if we would be able to spot you. Monsignor El Pussicato was torn between coming with us or going to look for a certain German beauty who seems to have taken over his heart. It seems that frauleins are causing havoc left and right with peoples hearts here at Le Republique. In the end, he decided to come with us.
And so, we all set off for the city center and took position at akademibokhandeln. We believed we might meet the most intelligent Fraulein there. That would be you Lady Katko. So, we waited but we did not see you there and thats when Villi decided to play a trick on Monsignor El Pussicatto. As you see, while we were browsing the books, Monsignor decided to wander off to the little cafeteria nearby to look for some milk. While he was there, Villi decided to call him by telling him that he had spotted you. We all decided to play along. So call Monsignor he did, he asked him to hurry up. Monsignor El Pussicatto who usually walks on his hind legs, in his excitement to see you, dropped his milk and went on all 4 legs so as to arrive as quick as possible. Arrive he did just to realize that you were not there. He was really furious and even more so when Villi proceeded to laugh at him. Thats when Monsignor really lost it and decided to let Villi have it. And did he let him have it. With his claws sticking out like that of a panther, the fury of a tornado and the shrieks of a bruce lee, he leapt on Villi and I swore that was the last time I would see Villi alive. Such fury unleashed by Monsignor. The kind of fury only a scorned woman could envy. In no time, Villi was bleeding and he too lost it and decided to let Monsignor have it. In no time, they were on the floor struggling with each other. Feline and human. At one time, Monsignor was miau-ring and Villi screaming, the next, Villi was Miau-ring and Monsignor screaming.
My Lady, it was a sight to behold. You should have been there to see it. Yet again, if you had been there, it would not have happened. The irony my Lady. The irony.
Now we have a situation where Villi does not want to be in the same company as Monsignor and believes that Monsignor might try to poison him. As for Monsignor, he believes that Villi might be attempting to murder him. It has become pretty chilly around here at Le Republique. Amazing I tell you but I believe that very soon, all will be fine once again. Indeed, it must for your sake my Lady. Indeed it will.
Other than that my Lady, I have nothing much to add.
Do have a pleasant day.
Dante Le Partie Duvallier
Knight of Kormannshire
in service to Lady Katko
Jolly Good!!
My Dear Lady Katko,
This is he who favours your presence before any other Fraulein or the wannabe's. I write to you again My Lady with great interest. It appears that we have made a discovery of epic proportions. What is it? you ask. That I intend to tell you in a minute but before I do, may I wish you a blessing from Deutschland and lots of love from Munchen.
Last Friday; Donkey, Monsignor and I decided to go out and have a drink. We set out for stora torget but upon arriving were surprised to find that it was all quiet and miserable. We decided to pop into a pub and have a look. Nothing much is what we saw and we popped out again. We wondered what to do? Donkey was of the opinion that we should go to Alademibokhandeln but Monsignor was against it. He claimed to be tired of seeing books since he sleeps in the library back home. It was then Monsignor arrived upon a crazy idea. He said that we should do something more adventurous. I asked him what he had in mind and he spoke as forth, "Let us go to Munchen". We were shocked but we decided not against it. So we dug into our pockets, found some change we had, borrowed more from a beggar nearby and then set off for Munchen. It appears that Monsignor had never been to Deutschland and he was in total awe. He claims that they lied about Madrid being the most beautiful place in Europe. Yet, as we made our way through Munchen, which is the part of Deutschland we were in, something startled us. We saw you and you and you again; However, what was shocking was that you appear to come in different sizes. This had us totally confused and we spent the whole time in Munchen arguing about this. We did not even visit Neuschwanstein castle, which was a dissapointment for me My Lady. It was not until Sunday night that we realized that we were still in Munchen and still arguing. We therefore got back to Le Republique on Monday after having to beg for more money. Thankfully, the Germans being such kind people, we got what we needed and were therefore able to arrive back at Le Republique.
We rushed to the library while facing several queries from Villi. He likes to disturb us a lot and is what the Americans call an "attention-whore". When we got into the library, we pulled out a very secretive document that we believe only we possess and set about scanning it. What we discovered was of great interest. You do come in different sizes. There is a large boned type of you, very similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Then there is a big boned type of you that is like Liv Tyler. Then there is a medium boned type of you, they tend to be swarthy and are not very respectable. Then there is you, small boned. You, Marie Antoinette and that Jessica Garner chick. This has totally amazed us. We always believed that Arnold ate more than he ought, but it is not so.
Other than that My Lady, bless you little small boned heart and until I speak again,
Good day
Dante Duvallier
Knight of Kormannshire
in service to Lady Katko
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW1XV-2OPkI&feature=related
Love Lost Love Found
Mein Liebst Fraulein,
This is he who desires you more than the sun. This is he who craves you more than water. This is he who loves you more than himself. This is Le Hammer. Yes my lovely Fraulein, that is my name from now on. I was forced to change it by Wilhelm Shakespeare. He threatened to live and never help me achieve my goal of seeing you again
I am as desolate as ever without you. How is it that you seek to punish me this way. What can I do so that I will see you again. How my heart aches and hurts for the sight of heaven on earth. Mein Liebst, I spoke with Mutombo yesterday. He says that I should pray and pray some more so that I will be delivered from this hell that tortures me. I have prayed so hard but he says pray somemore. And I say, come forth mein Liebst and stop torturing me. I will have to take drastic action if you do not appease me. I cannot suffer like this anymore. As we speak, suicide is my best friend. To hell with the others. They are of no good to me.
Mein Liesbt Fraulein, without you, water taste like sand. Milk like porridge and biscuits like cookies. I have but to see you only once. Please appease me mein Liebst or death I shall seek.
Ever suffering
Le Hammer
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bbDSQ8NvMvo&feature=related
Onwards Mademoiselle
cc: Mademoiselle Katharina Kormann
Bonjour Mademoiselle,
This is he who follows you so as to get rich. It is Vidal. Vidal of Malaga. Mademoiselle, my Lieutenants and I have been hard at work collecting even more information on you. We believe that we are getting better by the minute and eventually we shall know everything there is to know about you. I sit here alone typing this while my Lieutenants are in the field waiting for your next step so as to take it with you. I am sucking on some Karamell Kungen which I am enjoying tremendously as I do my work. Yet again, let me not bore you with stories of myself or my Malaga. This is what we have discovered so far,
1. You love the Moomins.
2. You hate aeroplanes
3. You love trains
4. You like the Uppsala Cathedral
5. You like Tennis and hate Soccer
6. You hate Akademibokhandeln (you think it looks silly)
7. You hate buses, bicycles and even walking but you like scooters.
8. You like Tom Cruise
9. You like swimming but hate cold water.
10. You love the Sauna.
11. You like German and English men and hate Italians and French men. You hate both spanish men and women but you like the country Spain. My heart trembled when I discovered this. Hopefully, Malaga is your favourite part in Spain.
12. You think Africans are mysterious.
13. You do not feel as though you fit in or belong in Europe. Your heart is not in the continent.
When we made the last discovery, we were shocked. We could not imagine how anyone could not love Malaga. So, we decided to do more research and discovered that it is true. Your heart does not lie in Europe, it does not feel like home. We discovered that your heart belongs in Quebec. It is your true home.
http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?t=532338
http://www.trekearth.com/gallery/North_America/Canada/photo825202.htm
http://blog.l-one.jp/sakae/Quebec%20City%20by%20Night.jpg
http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?t=241171
We find all this fascinating and we hope you shall too.
With that, we say: hasta Luego
Vidal and the Watchers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sojx7gNcZqI&feature=related
Au Contraire Mademoiselle
Biscuits,
You little devil, how do you find yourself today? Hmmmmm mon Petite. How does the world treat you Biscuits? Hmmmmm again. We awoke this morning feeling tired and exhausted and immediately headed towards the shower, or should I say bathtub. We quickly had our ‘shower’ but not together and then went down to breakfast. After breakfast, it was time for our Katechism classes. They take place in our living room and as usual, the leader was none other than Monsignor. Only he has totally memorized the whole Katechism and he appears to know the answers to all questions put to him. But not today Biscuits, not at all. He appeared to know nothing. It all began when Foxpack decided to interrupt the class and ask a question that appeared to be bothering him. It had to do with your worship. He said, “Padre, you say that the highest goal of Kat worship is to become one with Kat or as they say, with the Great Kat. Tell me Padre, is Kat and the Great Kat one and the same?” Monsignor appeared to be confused about the question since he was not sure what Foxpack meant. “We are worshipping the only Kat we know, what other Kat is there?” he asked back. But Foxpack was not to be so easily acquiesced Biscuits, not even one bit. He asked again, “Surely, we must recognize that even Kat is at the human level, are you saying that we should worship Kat even if she is a bad Kat?” Monsignor appeared to somewhat understand the question better. “I see what you mean. You say that there must be a Greater Kat than Kat whom we can all agree is a perfect Kat.” “That is very much so what I mean” said Foxpack again. Monsignor stopped for a minute and then began to get agitated. “What you say is blasphemous. Everybody knows that Kat is perfect.” It was then I raised my hand and said, “Oh c’mon man, you know how she fooled us last time into having us believe she was Catherine the Great. Foxpack asks a very good question Padre, there must be a greater Kat.” Monsignor then thought for a minute and then while even more agitated said, “This is traitorous talk we have here. There is but one and only one Kat. No other.” “Surely then, we must agree that this is Idolatory what we do here” said Sir Daisy. Monsignor then became angry and screamed out, “Why do people always have to judge others? We are perfect, all of us. We are all the same. No difference.” Obviously Biscuits, this was not going too well and we decided to end the class early.
So, at this minute, I am eating an Apple while contemplating about what just happened. I have never seen Monsignor so angry before. I wonder what could be bugging him. But I think I have an answer. Yesterday we held a birthday bash or what they call a party here at Le Republique for Monsignor. We did not invite too many people since it appears that everyone is sad and depressed these days. Yet, nobody showed up. Monsignor was livid Biscuits, he ran about screaming “Why? Why they do this?” We calmed him down and then went out and put up a sign at the gate saying that there was a free party inside. Within an hour Biscuits, the place started to fill up. We were surprised about who came. It appears that Uppsala is home to almost all kinds of foreigners. The first to come were the Canadians. They are Canadians Biscuits, not Quebecois. I do not like them so I pretended to be American. Then came the Dutch and they were followed by the British. At the end of it all, we had just about everyone in the house from Jamaicans to Chileans. It sounds amazing Biscuits but apparently, Uppsala is way much bigger than most people believe it is. Some of the people we met lived in areas that are not even on the map. Everybody was in a festive mood and it appeared that they all wanted to meet and talk to people they did not know. Monsignor at this point was ecstatic. He totally believed they had all come to see him when in reality, they were all looking for a place to hang out. It appears that a lot of the clubs in the city have closed down. In order to show his appreciation, Monsignor jumped up on a table and decided to serenade the guests with a song. It was by W.A. Mozart from the Opera known as Don Giovanni. It was the wrong song Biscuits. Here it is,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymBPo0AJ-2Y
They did not like that he sang the song in two very different voices and even then, they appeared not to like the song itself. They claimed he was an Elitist who wanted to bring misery to the people. In no time, they started calling him names and I heard a French man say, “To the Guillotine with the Pussicato, c’est ne pas civilise” It was at that moment they all rushed to pounce on him Biscuits, but Monsignor jumped up high into the air and took off like ‘Wiley E. Coyote’ himself. They chased him around while screaming “Le Pussicato, to the guillotine with Le Pussicatto” However Monsignor escaped them all and ran out of Le Republique into the darkness. About 5 hours later, when we had managed to kick out everybody, Monsignor returned looking sad and annoyed. He did not say a word but simply went into his bedroom and slammed the door loudly. We let him be until this very morning when we went for our Katechism classes which he leads.
I do not know what to think about all this. The partygoers also looked at us and Le Republique and called us ‘wannabees’. They said that we were not genuine and were pretending to be something we are not. They however did not guillotine us because of all of the Inspectors stuff which they thought was very cool. Surely, it appears to me Biscuits that they would all be happy if we were living in caves and eating grass. It appears to me that they believe that is what it means to be a ‘real person’. Hopefully this belief will not last too long and people will get back to being normal.
So Little one, until I write again, stay cool and most importantly, stay civilized.
Read a book mon Petite.
It is me,
Sir Pancho de Tuxedo
The new Knight of Kormannshire
In service to Lady Kat
